Midlife Crisis
by Djap
Summary: Grissom x Stokes


Title: Midlife Crisis

Fandom: Crime Scene Investigation – Las Vegas

Author: Djap

Pairing: Gil Grissom x Nick Stokes

Genre: Humor, First Time

Rating: R-NC17

Beta: Auror2020 – thank you for your great and patient work! You're my saviour!

Disclaimer: I don't own these two guys and the rest of the lab, and I won't make any money with them, I promise! So I'll just take them out of the dusty shelves to play and have a little fun.

So take a glass wine, lie back and enjoy!

Midlife Crisis

It was an ordinary day at the Crime Scene Investigation lab for most of the workers there.

Greg was giving everyone a little dissertation about the correct use of latex, while Sara drank one cup of coffee after another to prevent herself from falling in a deep and exhausted slumber after another voluntary double shift. She really did live at the lab sometimes…

Catherine and Warrick were playing on the Playstation 2 at Catherine's desk, when they should have been investigating the effects of violent video games on the players for a case they'd been working on lately. Cath was limping and Warrick's right eye was a blue and purple mess.

Jim was polishing his gun (the one made of steel).

The only exception to this ordinary day was Nicky, who was looking very grim and tapping his foot restlessly on the floor, waiting. He had been a little edgy all night, because his co-worker for this shift – namely Gil Grissom – hadn't shown up at the lab.

This was so ungrissomish that Nick would have been panicking by now, if the supervisor hadn't called him five minutes earlier.

And what sort of explanation had Grissom given him? None. He was SO pissed at the man, he would have liked to yell the frustration out of his system.

Just "Nick, I'll be at work in ten minutes!" and click, the conversation was over. No "Hi" for poor worried Nick Stokes and not even a "bye" or whatever. Nothing! It was just so frustrating! They had worked together for so many years now, and still Grissom was so close-mouthed about everything.

Well, speak of the devil – and there he came!

"Where is the crime scene?"

"A good evening to you too, Gris. Do you want to explain?"

"I can't think of anything to explain. What are you talking about?" his supervisor grumbled and stormed past him to the cars. Nick rolled his eyes and followed him out of the lab to the crime scene and another eventful night with this new, lately often intolerable, slightly older man. Oh joy!

It wasn't the first time Gil had acted strangely at work, and it wasn't the last either. Nick tried more than once to talk to him or to his co-workers on the night shift, but they didn't notice anything odd about his behavior at first.

But then there came the day that Grissom arrived at the lab with his hair dyed as black as the night itself. The whole night shift gaped at him open-mouthed, like guppies, but he was oblivious to their stares – or at least he pretended to be.

The fact was that they hardly knew him without the slightly greyish-silver hair that suited him so well.

Cath was the first to recover from the initial shock.

"Gil… your hair… what… why… what the hell…"

Gil looked annoyed and snarled – he actually _snarled_ at them,

"I really have no idea what you are talking about, Catherine…"

So Warrick tried to explain the obvious.

"But it's black! Your hair is black. It has never been black since I've known you…"

"My hair has never been another color. I really don't know what you're talking about…"

"But --" Nick was harshly interrupted.

"Don't you have work to do? Why do you keep talking about the color of my hair? I don't think it has anything to do with our cases, so just go back to your work. Do you understand me here?"

After his little speech Grissom stormed, fuming, into his office. The sound of the door hitting its frame rang loudly in their ears for about half an hour after this incident.

"So what was that shit about?"

Warrick asked, scratching his neck in an futile attempt to hide his shock and nervousness about these very unexpected developments.

"I tried to talk to you about it before, but you all refused to listen to me and now you can see where it's brought us."

"Yes, you were right, Nick. And we're sorry about it, okay?"

"Yes, it's okay, but now what should we do ? We can't let him go on this way. How the hell can we find out what's bothering him?"

"We're CSI, Nick. Let's just gather the evidence and try to come to some conclusions, before life becomes hell for us!"

"Yeah, let's try!"

The next very clear sign that something wasn't quite right with Gil Grissom's world happened in a talk with Sara.

It could only have been lovesickness that kept her from being scared off by his new hair color, and kept her continuing to try to persuade him – again and again and again – to go out with her on a date.

The whole lab could hear his final, yelled answer, and they weren't pleased about it.

"Just fuck off! I will NEVER go out with you, okay? Just never! Get it into your stupid head and leave me alone!"

The rest of the team didn't need to see her cry, as she ran past them, eyes covered, to decide that they had to do something about this new Gil Grissom.

Immediately.

"What do you want?"

Okay, it being 10 a.m. they all knew it was normal to be fast asleep at this hour, but normally Grissom would pick up the phone and ask,

"Where is the crime scene?" rather than getting pissed off at the one who had called him.

"Hi Gris…" Nick stuttered, caught off-guard by the unexpected answer "Um, we have this new case here, and we don't know any of these bugs crawling around, so I just wanted to call you…"

"And what am I supposed to do about it? I'm not the only entomologist in the world, you know! Buy yourself some books about it and read like you would do with anything else you didn't know! Leave me alone about this shit and look for another fool who'll help you to do your work!"

These were the last words of the call, because Gil Grissom hung up on Nick before Nick could answer.

Nick leant back in the driver's seat of the borrowed car outside Grissom's flat and continued his observation. Because he was the most worried member of the team, and the one with the fewest hobbies, and the one with no family, he got the "Grissom job," as his team members has started to call their new personal case.

He didn't have to wait long for Grissom to leave his flat. Nick whistled to himself at the view he got of the man: If one neglected the god-awful new hair color, his supervisor looked really hot in his dark black leather pants, equally black boots, white undershirt and dark crimson silk shirt. From Nick's point of view the man looked good enough to eat, but he was used to not speaking about the effect his boss had on him. He started the car and followed Gil without being noticed.

The place they stopped made Nick gulp two or three times and take some very deep breaths to calm down. Nick had thought he would never have the opportunity to talk to Gil about his feelings, but suddenly it looked like he was going to get his chance right now. He tried to master his racing heart and his fluttering nerves, got out of the car and walked to the front door of the club, where an old friend of his waited.

Before he got to the door he made a quick call and told Warrick that he thought he knew what the problem was and that he could handle it on his own without further help. Warrick had no chance to protest or to question him further, because Nick just hung up on him and hurried to the bar.

The club was called 'Anaconda,' which could be read in big, pink, neon letters on the outside wall of the building. A large, beautiful example of the species wound its way around the letters, watching the visitors with interested and intelligent eyes. She – the snake – belonged to the owner of the club and was called Samantha, and she was the first one to check out the visitors. The second one to do this job, who was a bit more human by the way, was a tall man with lots of muscles, broad shoulders, a black suit and a very grim expression on his face – and lots of make-up.

Nick was fifth in line as the man spotted him, grinned and called him to the door. The tall figure captured him in a big bear hug that knocked all the breath out of him and asked, full of curiosity,

"Nicky, it's been a long time you last visited us. So where have you been? And how's your life?"

"Hi Dirk, life's okay these days, but I have a lot of overtime to do at work. And what about you? And how is your life with John, by the way?"

"Sometimes I can't believe we're still a couple. You know we can't be with or without each other, but I still love him dearly."

"That's great. You both look so good with each other."

"And you? Have you found someone special to spend your life with?"

"Not yet, but I'm looking forward to this evening. There's a guy in there who has great potential to become the love of my life – but he doesn't know it yet."

"Well then, lots of luck, sweet. But I'm sure you won't need it! You'll get him for sure!"

"Thank you, bye!"

"Bye!"

After looking around and establishing that the Anaconda hadn't changed much since his last visit, Nick took a seat at the bar and ordered a 'Sex On The Beach' before he exchanged some nice words with the bartender — also named John. From this place he had an excellent view of the dance floor and the tables behind it.

After just six or seven minutes he spotted the person he was looking for -- Gil Grissom was on the dance floor, and Nick's focus was all on his supervisor having a great time. He was dancing with not one but two guys at the same time, playing the cheese in a cheeseburger or the filling between two cookies. Looking closer, Nick decided it was less dancing than a kind of workout, what with all the grinding and groping and fumbling going on there right on the dance floor.

But then, as one of the guys tried to kiss him, Grissom backed off, separated from both of them and fled to the bar, missing completely the fact that he had taken the free seat beside his coworker, whom he had never dared to think of a guest of this establishment.

He ordered an 'Bellini' and settled down on his seat before nipping at his drink and checking out his neighbors at the bar. He gulped, blushed furiously and coughed violently as Nick looked him straight in the eyes and winked.

"Hi Gris. Having a good time here?"

But before Gil could answer Nick's question – or say anything – they were both interrupted by one of the two guys Gil had left on the dance floor.

"Hey Sweet, we weren't finished yet."

"Yes, you were!" answered Nick, slightly annoyed by this guy who obviously couldn't take no for an answer, earning a sour look from the man.

"I said we weren't!" He tried to grab Gil's arm to draw him away from Nick, but Nick wasn't so easy to impress and stood, giving him a menacing look.

"He's with me here, so fuck off. Now!"

That seemed to impress the man and he made a retreat, but not without mumbling,

"It's your loss, honey."

The two co-workers looked awkwardly at each other, then they burst out in loud laughter at this ridiculous attempt at flirtation. After they quieted down, Gil was relaxed enough to ask the man beside him,

"So, what are you doing here, Nicky? Are you spying on me or what?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, and while I'm glad to be able to say that you're a very important person to me, you aren't the center of my world, you know? I haven't been here in a long time, and…"

"So you've been to this place before?"

Nick tried to look cool and hide the fact that he actually had been spying on Gil.

"Yeah, sure. And you? The last time I was here must have been six or seven months ago, but I never saw you here."

They were interrupted again, this time by the waiter:

"Oh Nicky, you've made a great catch here. Our Gil here is new around this place and most of us are very interested in him – but most of the time he's as cold as ice – so watch your fingers with him!"

"Thanks for the warning John, but I do know him already."

They looked at each other with twinkling eyes before John got back to work, causing Grissom to blush deeply crimson again. Gil seemed to be totally and absolutely floored.

"So you're… you're… really… gay?"

"Well, I like to think of myself as a bisexual man, but my best adventures or relationships have been with attractive guys. So yes, I think it's safe to think of me as gay – if you want to."

"Really?"

One Gil Grissom made big round puppy dog eyes.

"Sure, but I don't get why you're so surprised about it. Normally you're the one who is never impressed by any kind of possible lifestyle. Besides, if this surprises you so much, what are you doing in here?"

"I… um…"

Now Nick saw a second thing that he had thought would never happen: Gil Grissom stuttered. A lot lately. First there had been Gil blushing…

Nick decided that the best defense was a good offense, so he asked:

"What about it, Griss? Are you gay? Or bisexual… or what?"

"I… um… am… not sure. I never tried it before."

"Really? So what made you try it now? Is this the reason why you've been so difficult lately?"

"I'm never difficult!"

Gil snapped, looking angry. He made a move to get up, but Nick grabbed his arm.

"Sorry Griss, but we're both adults here, aren't we? And you HAVE been very… let's say 'grumpy' lately. We all have been worried about you. The whole team is concerned about you and your life."

"I just… I don't know. I…"

"Why don't we go talk someplace a little more quiet than this, where nobody can disturb us?"

For about five seconds it looked like Grissom would refuse, but then he nodded and followed his co-worker out of the bar.

"So where do you want to go, Griss?"

"I don't know… can we go to my flat, maybe?"

"Sure, if you want us to. I know you're a very private person and I don't want to intrude your personal space…"

"I wouldn't have mentioned it if I didn't want you to."

"Okay then, let's go!"

After half a bottle of very old whiskey, Gil Grissom's tongue loosened enough to speak about the problem.

"It's just my whole life, Nicky. It's all of it. I'm lonely, I'm bored and I hate it."

"So you decided to change it."

"Yes, at least the point which pisses me off most."

Nick started to laugh at that, which earned him an lifted eyebrow from his supervisor.

"Are you laughing at me?"

"No, I just can't believe the words 'pisses me off' came from your lips. Did you really curse right now? That's so ungrissomish."

"Ungrissomish? Have you been drinking too much?"

"No, I'm still nearly sober, I swear. And sorry I laughed; I didn't want you to feel embarrassed. So you've felt attracted to guys before?"

"Yes, but…"

"What?"

"My mother was a great person and I loved her dearly, but… she made me promise never to look for a male partner."

"But why did she do that, for God's sake?"

"It was because of her oldest brother. He was beaten to death by some guys after he left a gay bar."

"Oh, I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be. It was a long time ago and I'm so tired of it now. I don't want to continue pretending and I don't want to continue living alone."

"So you tried to change your life and started dating guys?"

There it went again: Gil Grissom blushing crimson. Nick thought suddenly that this look was really cute on his supervisor. He blushed too, which made Gil curious, but not curious enough to ask him about it. Instead Gil said,

"I haven't really started to gather experience with men yet…"

"But why not? You look great and at the Anaconda there were lots of guys checking you out. John, that's the bartender, wouldn't have said what he did if it wasn't true."

"Yes, that may be true, but I don't feel safe with a stranger."

"But if you aren't just looking for a quick f…" Nick managed to catch himself before he could finish his sentence in a crude manner and corrected himself. "-- for a casual encounter, than you weren't in the right place at the Anaconda."

"I know that, but I thought that with enough alcohol I would perhaps be able to loosen my control a bit. You know very well that my social skills aren't very good and I'm sure that my chances wouldn't be good in a real relationship…"

"I can't agree, Griss. You're a smart guy and really attractive, too. And last but not least, your social abilities have improved a lot over the years we've worked together, if you want my opinion. If you want, I can help you to meet some nice guys here, guys I know won't hurt you. Should I introduce you to one or two of them next time? Was there any guy who interested you?"

There was just a fraction of a second in which Gil Grissom showed exactly whom he wanted to date, before he tried to hide his feelings behind the huge emotional wall between them.

Nick was a born observer and used to gathering evidence from his surroundings and the people he had contact with. So there was no way he could have misread the look Gil Grissom gave him. It stunned him speechless. After a moment of shock, he started to grin smugly and said, sending shivers down Grissom's back:

"Well, I know for sure, that this guy is very safe to be with, Mister Grissom. And I know for another fact that he would be very interested in you, too. So are you asking him on a date?"

"Nick." Grissom stopped and started again: "Nicky. You don't have to do that for me. I'm such an old man and you're so…"

"Just shut up, Gil! I've wanted to date you since I first laid eyes on you at our first meeting. But I thought I would never get a chance with you that way…"

"Really?"

"Really. So it's a date then?"

"Yes. Definitely."

This conversation had happened 14 days and eight dates ago. And now, on their ninth date, Nick was going slightly and steadily nuts. He was so hard beneath their table that he was having enormous problems breathing correctly.

He ignored his problem and tried to follow the conversation because this was nothing new for him. He had started to babble nonsense from their very first date, but Griss never seemed to notice it.

Nick was waiting for Griss to make the first move to deepen their relationship because he wanted Griss to feel safe. But suddenly he had an epiphany: Gil Grissom would never make the first move. So Nick changed his strategy between the main course and the dessert.

"Gil?"

"Yes?"

His supervisor and hopefully soon-to-be-lover looked up, startled, from his meal.

"I want to make love to you. Now. Please."

He spoke calm and comprehensibly. Wow, a whole sentence. Congratulations, Mister Stokes.

It took them and the remaining guests of the restaurant only about ten minutes to stop Grissom's coughing, before the man was able to blush appropriately and answered:

"Yes, I actually think I could manage that, Nicky."

The trip to Nick's flat was very quiet and especially quick. They sat silently about ten minutes in the Tahoe before they left the car, to prevent Gil from hyperventilating.

At last they went to Nick's flat, where Nick had to make some decisions. If they both got comfortable together in the living room in front of the TV he would never get the guts again to try to seduce Gil Grissom.

So he just smiled shyly at his prey, took Gil's hand and led him into his bedroom. There he lit some candles, plumped up the cushions, and closed his windows. He felt Grissom's gaze with every movement he made, following him everywhere he turned.

Then he retreated quickly into the kitchen, where he grabbed two wine glasses and a bottle of white wine out of the refrigerator.

As he returned with the items in his hands to the bedroom, he spotted Gil sitting on the edge of his bed, looking like a pig about to be slaughtered. There was open panic on Gil's face, so much so that Nick felt worried about him.

So Nick knelt in front of him, poured the two glasses of wine, and passed one of them to Gil.

"Are you nervous?"

"Funny question."

"Listen, Gil. Nothing has to happen between us two tonight. Are we on the same page here? I don't want to rush anything with you – you are too special for me to be such a stupid prick, okay? But if we don't start this now, perhaps we will never be able to start it, because we'll be too afraid of it. So, what is it that you want, Gil?"

"I want you. But… but I just don't know how…"

"It isn't important if you've had experience or not. We'll stop the moment you feel uncomfortable with anything we do. We'll only do things that feel good to you and that you like, I promise you. Do you trust me in this, Gil?"

"Yes, Nicky. I do trust you. But sometimes I'm afraid of this relationship too."

"That's fine with me, because sometimes I feel the same. It's normal to be afraid of something new, especially something so deeply personal. So we'll just take it slowly. Why don't we start with you telling me what you prefer?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Gil. I know you're a very smart guy and you understood me perfectly well. Haven't you ever talked about your preferences in sex?

"No. There never was anybody who was interested enough in me to ask me about those things."

"Well, but I AM very interested in you, Gil. Don't you ever forget that! Will you show me them then?"

There it was: the deepest blush in the history of Gil Grissom.

"Sh… Show you?"

"Yes, show me. I want to make it good for you and I won't be able to do that if I know nothing about your preferences. So go on, take your clothes off and show me, if you don't feel safe enough to touch me yet. Show me, what you do and how you do it, when you give yourself pleasure."

Nick was absolutely sure from the grimace Gil made that he had fucked up this whole situation with his last words. Gil surely would leave him any minute now and never come back to him again.

But Gil didn't. Instead he grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged it over his head before he started on his zipper.

Nick did a good impression of a guppy, his mouth opening and closing again and again without saying anything. While Nick was more or less incapacitated Gil undressed efficiently, and after two minutes he stood nude in front of his date.

Gil's cock wasn't erect yet, but that was probably because he still was very nervous about this whole thing. Without further words, he planted himself on top of the sheets of Nick's bed, getting comfortable there.

Lying on his back with his right arm behind his head, Gil closed his eyes before lifting his left arm, explaining,

"Being right-handed, I prefer to pleasure myself with my left hand, because it feels more different – like the hand of another human being touching me, giving me the pleasure I can't deny myself any further."

Nick suppressed a moan as Gil's left hand started its journey with his index finger: first, it traveled the older man's thin lips, his nose, his cheeks, his mouth, begging to be wetted with saliva.

Nick shuddered at this vision and had to fight the impulse to just grab the other man and make mad, passionate love to him.

Gil didn't seem to notice Nick's momentarily fragile state of mind and continued his exploration of his own body. His fingers ghosted about his neck and his left shoulder blade, where Nick spotted an old scar.

If the young man was ever able to speak again instead of making those small, very embarrassing noises, he would ask Gil how he had gotten the scar, but at the moment he settled for just babbling nonsense while watching Gil.

His supervisor didn't seem to mind that and started to make long, sensual strokes through the light, silver-greyish fur on his chest, which hid two beautiful, brown nipples. He caught little strands of hair and pulled the slightest bit on them, drawing a moan from his thin but sensual lips.

"I like it having them pulled gently, because it never fails to give me goose bumps. I also like very much to have them covered with soap under the shower and washed thoroughly. But I hate it when people pull too hard on them, because I'm really sensitive there."

Gil shifted in his position and started to pleasure the two nubs that were now standing at attention. He traced little circles around them, wetted his finger to get some saliva on them, and blew little puffs of air on them.

A shiver went through Gil's and Nick's bodies at the same time, followed by two load moans.

This caused Gil to change the pace of his ministrations and let his left hand follow the thin line of hair past his navel, stopping at the base of his cock. He started to fist his waiting erection with quick little strokes, moaning uncontrollably now and finishing himself off almost in a hurry.

White, hot semen dripped over his hand, onto his lower abdomen and his balls, burning the heated skin there.

The older man was breathing hard and having trouble speaking coherently, but managed a question, finally giving Nicky permission to make a move.

"What the hell are you waiting for? Aren't you going to join me?"

Nick set a record for getting-out-of-your-clothes-and-jumping-naked-into-bed-to-jump-your-boss's-bones which would have made any other man in his position very jealous. He ignored the wet spot on his boxers. The last time he had come in his pants without even touching himself once he had been seventeen. This was something they would surely be able to investigate later, much later in their relationship.

Now the only thing he could think of was this man in his bed, Gil Grissom, who had trusted him this much on their very first night together. He thought this whole scene had needed much more trust from Gil than just allowing Nicky to pound him through the mattress.

Now it was his turn to show the other man just how much he was loved by him. And he was very sure he had learned some things in the last fifteen minutes which would come in handy for his mission…

Nick woke to the feeling of getting cold in a bed which would have been very much warmer if it had had two people in it. He needed only ten seconds to ascertain that he was in fact alone, which gave him nearly an heart attack.

The first possibility that came to mind was that Gil had at last freaked out on him, had left him once he got his senses back, and would never return to him. Nick jumped out of bed and hurried down the hallway of his apartment, looking for Gil. He made a full stop, sliding on the parquet floor, as he got an awesome view of the love of his life.

Gil Grissom stood at his kitchen sink making coffee, wearing only his shirt, nothing else, his naked butt swinging to music only Gil could hear in his head.

Nick broke into a broad smile, tiptoed to Gil and hugged him from behind, kissing his neck and whispering 'Good morning, love.'

"Good morning to you too, Nicky. Did you sleep well?"

"Fantastic. You?"

"Like in heaven."

"Love?"

"Hm?"

"Will you promise me something?"

"Eternal love?"

"No, I'm not that romantic, you know?"

"What a loss… so what?"

"Will you stop coloring your hair?"

"Nicky…" Gil groaned.

Endless End

Finished Cologne 05-06-20


End file.
